I am two months on T and it has been a slow month. I will also be talking about my birthday this post as it was earlier in the month.
I haven’t noticed many physical changes just yet aside from my stomach hair growth. I think look more and more like my father everyday though but that was to be expected. Sexual drive? Comes and goes like normal. have also started developing acne here and there. Not much different from my 1st puberty.
Mentally I feel drained. I don’t think it’s because of the T solely, but more like everything is coming together and I somewhat feel like my life is closing in on me somedays. I feel anxiety more and more and just recently noticed that I have been completely withdrawn from my writings. I don’t even remember the last time I felt the need to work on my second novel(something that is completed but needs editing still).
My mental strain has also affected my working out. I sit at a cool 215 everyday with no loss or significant gain. I stay between the same five pounds, 215-220, everyday. I go to the gym and run on the treadmill for at least 20-30 mins twice during a four hour period at work, 3 days a week. Maybe I will schedule an appointment with my therapist and try to figure out my underlying problems.
My family is becoming more and more supportive. My brothers and sisters all call me their baby brother now. It’s heartwarming. My mother is still coming to terms with it I think. She doesn’t call me Andrew but she does call me Lee, which was not only my nickname but also a part of my chosen name. My father, well… We’re still not talking and I doubt we have any intentions of doing so anytime soon. I did reach out and buy him something for Father’s Day last month but I never received a thank you. July 4th we were both at my brothers for fireworks and I interacted with everyone, including my mother without so much of a glance from him. My birthday a week later was without even a text. I will no longer waste time or effort on the subject, since I tried and apparently failed.
My birthday was Monday July 11 and I turned 25 this year!
My birthday was a bland one. I worked 9:30am-7:30pm and scrolled through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all day.
But my birthday celebration started 2 days earlier on July 9, a Saturday. I went to Duluth and saw Lake Superior for the first time ever. We hung around town, sight seeing but mostly swimming. We went to Enger Tower and the Glensheen Mansion (though we didn’t go on the tour). We ate at a pizza shop, Vitta Pizza, and watched the ships come in and out the canal.
I’d also received two new binder in the mail on Friday July 8, one fits perfectly fine. The other, not so much. Which is weird because they’re both the same size and style binder, just different colors.
As I reached 25 I started to think more about my life transition-wise, I’m going to work on changing my name and coming out to my job and my clients(which should have happened months ago). I work for a small company as a PCA and though my client and his wife are extremely accepting I can’t help but to think of his mental health and mine. As I’m on T longer and longer dysphoria about being referred to as female kicks in, which is weird cause I’ve never had it before. My client has dementia and I would hate to confuse him more. They’re like my second family.
I’ve also been looking into my health insurance and making sure my top surgery will be even partially covered. I have state insurance and I know transistion related care is covered under the law but will they really follow the rules applied or will my gender identity still be scrutinized like many of my other trans and non-binary folx?
The day after my birthday July 12 I went to a checkup, I wasn’t able to see my regular doc but the one I saw was a great woman. She upped my dose. I’m now .2 instead of .1 weekly. I’m happy about that. Hopefully I’ll start seeing changes between now and my next appointment in October. I’ll be 4 1/2 months on T by then. I have yet to see where my T levels are and I will be calling my clinic and seeing if I will be receiving those results online.
As stated I’m working on changing my name, but mostly it’s getting the proper paperwork set up. I’ve heard in a few groups here and there that changing your name could possibly mess up your voting status cause of how long everything takes to get through the systems so I’ll be holding off until after Election Day.
I’ll be six months by then and will also be setting up appointments for consultations with doctors for top surgery both in and out of network. I want to have price ranges and after me and my partner debate on whether we’re staying in our place I want to start saving.
Hopefully my first choice, because of location, is in network. They’re a part of the queer community and I’ve heard/seen exceptional work on quite a few folx, plus I hear the staff is phenomenal. Not to mention they are right over the river at the UofM in Minneapolis.
If not them, then there are a few other doctors I want to look into that I know will be out of network but are nothing but a few hours by car or train.
All in all my second month was dull aside from my birthday and starting to look at my writings again. As always I look forward to the changes to come.